


I'm On This Sinking Ship

by JustFolieADeuxIt



Category: All Time Low (Band), Bandom, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, Sleeping With Sirens
Genre: AU, Abuse, Boat, Cruise Ship, Dating, Drugs, Eating Disorder, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Pregnancy, Romance, different character ages
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-12 03:36:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12950457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustFolieADeuxIt/pseuds/JustFolieADeuxIt
Summary: Set on a cruise ship for the most part.Patrick and Pete are going to get a romantic getaway and relaxing vacationJoe is going because Patrick is goingAndy is going because Andy does what he wants and a cruise is coolAlex and Jack are going because Jack insists that Alex needs to get out more and enjoy lifeKellin is going to get away from his abusive dad and to try and make friendsPete doesn't know that Patrick has feelings for JoeAlex doesn't want to date Jack even though Jack is dying to confess he's in love with himKellin thinks Alex has pretty eyesJoe likes to look at Patrick when Patrick isn't looking (Oblivious)





	1. Just Go On The Damn Cruise

"This is a really bad idea, Pete.." Patrick groaned as his eyes scanned the tickets he was holding.

"Patrick.. It's romantic, I swear to God, you will love it."

Patrick rolled his eyes but reluctantly agreed. "Okay, fine.. We'll go but if I spend the whole time barfing, I will never forgive you."

"It's a cruise ship Patrick, you can't feel the waves on a cruise ship.. They're gigantic. You'll be fine..But we can get you some pills or something for motion sickness just in case and everything will be fine."

Pete then wrapped his arms around his shorter boyfriend and held him close. "We've been working so hard on recording lately.. The four of us deserve a break and.. It'll be a great way for us to have some romantic bonding."

"I'm not having sex on the deck, Pete.."

"I wasn't even going to suggest that!" Pete gawked at him in surprise.

"Good, because it won't happen. Now, what did Andy and Joe think about this?" He asked.

"Joe was all for it and Andy replied with a sunglasses emoji and a thumbs up emoji so I guess that's a yes from him as well."

"Is anyone else going?"

"Wouldn't doubt it.. It's one of the most popular cruises of the year.. A week at sea.. 4 whole days at a luxury hotel in Barbados and then another week at sea before we dock back at the port of Los Angeles."

"Okay.." Patrick nodded and laid his head on Pete's shoulder. "It does sound pretty relaxing.."

"Exactly." Pete grinned and kissed the top of Patrick's head. 

\----  
"Do you think it will be cold at night on the ship?"

"I don't know.. I've never been on a cruise before."

"Alex.. Are you serious?" Jack asked into his phone.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because?"

"That is not a valid answer. Boy you are in for a fun time. Cruises are the best.. There's always so much to do and the views are so amazing.. Plus all the great food and alcohol."

"Jack, I'm Eighteen.."

"So?"

"So, neither of us are even allowed at the bar, dickhead."

"Fake ID's, Lex."

"What? So when they find out we're just kids, they make us walk the plank right out into the ocean?"

"What? Alexander.. Are you talking about Pirates? Jesus." He laughed and went about packing clothes while he kept his best friend on speakerphone.

Alex was at his own place, curled up on the couch with the TV on mute. He wondered if Jack was trying to make this romantic or not.

They were in a weird situation. They only ever were best friends.. But best friends weren't really supposed to kiss each other and spend the night cuddling under the sheets.

"Alex?"

"What? Sorry.. I spaced out."

"Typical." Jack sighed but only meant it in a joking way.

"Some of the other guys are gonna' be there..Brendon..Patrick, Joe, Andy, Pete and I think Kellin."

"Who?"

"Kellin."

"I don't know him." Alex said, trying to open a box of Sour Patch Kids with his free hand, the other one occupied with pressing his Iphone to his ear as he struggled to hear Jack as the elder boy moved about his bedroom.

"He makes music too.. Little punker like the rest of us shitheads." Jack joked.

"Very funny.. You know I don't like trying to make friends. It makes me feel awkward."

"It'll be fine.. We might not even run into any of them."

"Doubtful." 

"Ugh, Alex..Just.. Try to have a good time with me."

"That sounded real kinky, Jacky."

"You would know. Slut. I have to finish packing. Be on time. The ship doesn't wait around for late losers." He laughed and then hung up.  
Alex sighed and hung up as well.

\----  
"What do you need to go on a cruise for?"

".. Some of my friends are going."

"You don't have any friends."

Kellin blinked at his father, feeling hurt.

"Whatever, I'm going."

"Don't talk back at me!"

Before Kellin had a chance to move away, his father was grabbing him by the wrist and dragging him closer.

"You and your smartass little mouth, no wonder your mother left! Ungrateful piece of shit." He then shoved him up against the wall.

Kellin tensed up, feeling his breath catching in his lungs as he silently prayed.

This was the usual. His father was loud, violent, emotionally and physically abusive. To top it off, he was a drinker and a heavy one at that.

His father took a swing at him, holding an empty beer bottle in his fist. The bottle collided with Kellin's forehead. It wasn't enough to knock him out, but his knees went week and he dropped to the floor, his father letting go of his wrist.

Kellin could feel his ears ringing loudly as the pain buzzed through him. His dad muttered something before retreating upstairs to his bedroom and slamming the door.

"Fuck.." Kellin breathed, touching fingertips lightly to where the bottle had hit. He looked at his fingers and saw the blood, then his vision doubled for a few seconds and it made him slightly nauseated.

He took his phone out of his pocket and called Patrick.

"Hey."

".. Can I spend the night and just go with you guys tomorrow instead of meeting you at the docks?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure.. Are you okay?.." Patrick asked, as it wasn't the first time Kellin had needed a quick escape.

".. I don't know."

".. I'm coming.. Wait out front."

Patrick hung up and looked at Pete. "Gotta get Kell.. Think his dad hurt him again."

Pete grimaced, remembering the last time that Patrick had brought the younger boy over and his whole right arm had been blue and purple, swollen from being broken in 3 different places.

"Should I go with you?" Pete asked.

"Nah, I'll be fine.. I don't go into the house." 

With that, Patrick grabbed his keys and went outside to his car.

It was only a five minute drive, but Patrick, who was extremely over protective and thought of Kellin as a younger brother, couldn't shake the nerves until he pulled up and saw the boy was at least still in one piece.

Kellin threw his luggage into the back seat and then climbed into the passenger seat and shut the door.

".. What'd he do?"

"Bottle.." He breathed, turning to face Patrick.

Patrick's eyebrows raised and he made a small noise when he saw the blood. "Was it hard? You could have a concussion.."

".. It was pretty hard.. But.. I'm okay."

Patrick started driving, deciding to get Pete's opinion on if they needed to make a trip to the ER. Although, he ended up making the decision himself when Kellin leaned forward and proceeded to throw up on the floor of the car without any warning.

He wasn't even mad, he just got more worried than he already had been. He pulled over to the side of the road and turned off the car.

"Are you okay?" He asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

".. Sorry.. I-.." He closed his eyes, feeling awful.

"Don't be sorry.. You poor thing." He got out of the car and went around to his side, thankful that the only thing dirty was the carpet mat. He bagged it up and made sure nothing else needed cleaning, then gave Kellin a bottle of water. "Here.. Have a little.. We're almost at the Hospital." He said, while brushing his hair away from his forehead to look at the cut. "It's pretty deep.. You'll need stitches for sure.."

"Do I have to?"

"Yeah.. Sorry. You don't want it to get infected.. Plus we need to make sure you don't have a concussion.. If you do.. You're not going with us tomorrow."

Kellin sighed, knowing it was going to be a long night and he was screwed if he couldn't go. Everyone was going. He wasn't going to go back home, he knew that was for sure.


	2. Just Get On The Damn Boat

While Patrick and Kellin sat in the ER waiting room, Kellin stared at the posters on the walls, trying to focus on something other than the pain radiating through his head and the nausea that was still swirling relentlessly. He'd been sick again as soon as they got to the Hospital and he'd gotten out of the car. Patrick was insisting it was definitely a concussion, as Pete had had plenty of them during his younger teen days of being reckless.

"Do you still feel sick? Do you want me to see if I can get you some ice chips? Or maybe a soda?" Patrick asked, adjusting his glasses nervously.

"I don't want to try and drink anything." 

"Okay." 

They went back to silence until Kellin got called back by a nurse. He got a quick examination, a head scan and after a quick injection of a local anesthetic, a doctor was doing stitches to close up the wound.

The nurse walked in with the scan results. "No concussion. However, because the hit was pretty hard.. You may still experience some of the symptoms. However, it is safe to sleep. If you experience any serious symptoms such as shortness of breath or vomiting that lasts more than 6 hours, then you need to come back for further tests."

Kellin was half-listening, trying to focus on not paying attention to the needle going through his skin.

"Yeah, okay.. Got it." He breathed, keeping his eyes closed.

10 minutes later, he walked back out to the waiting room, a white bandage covering the stitches on his forehead. His hair mostly covered it though but it was still noticeable. 

Patrick stood. "What'd they do?" He asked as they walked to the car.

"Stitches.. No concussion.. Just symptoms of one.. Uh.. Come back if I can't breathe or something. I don't remember, I'm exhausted."

Patrick frowned, but nodded and started driving home.

When they got in, Pete was still awake and watching TV. It was a little after 9 PM and he still wasn't tired.

He looked over at them. "Hey.. Everything good?" He asked.

"No concussion.. He doesn't feel the best though. Was a pretty hard hit I guess.. He was sick twice.. Got some stitches.." Patrick said, taking his jacket off.

Kellin nodded a bit and then headed upstairs to the guest room. Everything was how he had left it from the last time he had been there. He had a bunch of his things there and Patrick was pretty sure he was slowly but surely going to just move in with them.

He got on the bed, dragging a blanket over himself as his eyes fell shut. He heard footsteps entering the room a few minutes later and opened an eye. Patrick set a bottle of water on the night stand along with an ice pack.

".. Stay."

Patrick looked at him and then nodded and sat beside him, leaning back against the pillows. 

Kellin scooted over to him and used his arm as a pillow.

".. I'm sorry he hurt you again.." Patrick said quietly, grabbing the ice pack and gently holding it to his head for him.

".. Not your fault.."

"You should report him.."

"And then what? I'm 16.. I'll end up in foster care.."

"Then don't report him.. Just stay here."

"I can't move in here.. It would be weird."

"Why?"

"You and Pete.. Trying to live your normal lives.. And.. Be a normal couple.. And then a teenage boy moves in and disrupts everything?"

"Are you forgetting that Pete is 24 and I'm 22?"

"Well you're both ancient to me." He joked.

Patrick laughed. "Gee, thanks. Seriously.. Move in.. We love having you here.. You're quiet but funny.. Well behaved.. You're always studying or reading.. Well educated.. You're respectful and help out around the house.."

"I'll think about it." 

"Okay.. I'll take that." Patrick said, then went quiet so he could fall asleep.

\----  
"It's bigger than I thought it would be.." Alex breathed, his eyes gazing at the massive cruise ship they were about to board.

"That's what she said." Jack laughed.

Alex blushed. "Stop.. Don't be gross."

"Penises aren't gross." 

"Jack.. Stop." Alex went a few shades more red and tried to act natural as people started staring.

"Guys!"

Alex turned and saw Joe heading over to them, cutting through the line of people and getting angry responses.

"I'm with them, chill out." He called to a middle-aged lady with a leopard print suitcase and a questionable hairstyle.

"Hey." Alex smiled. "Where are the others? They with you?"

"No.. I saw Andy's car on the freeway though. He was driving behind me."

A few moments later, Andy showed up with a duffel bag and a backpack.

Joe looked at him and then glanced around. "Why are you the only one without actual luggage?"

"It's all I need.. Don't need to pack my whole apartment."

Joe rolled his eyes and then waved as Patrick and Pete showed up and headed over to them.

"Hey!" Jack high fived Pete.

"Hey, dude." Pete grinned.

Alex waved quietly to them and then looked back to the boat, feeling nervous about being out in the middle of the ocean for 4 days.

Kellin came up behind Patrick and Pete, having gotten stuck behind some people and was too shy to ask them to move.

"Hi." He said. 

Jack waved. "Hey! Finally you get to meet, Alexander.. My main hoe."

Alex went red again. "Jack.."

"Alex, this is Kellin." He pointed.

"Hi." Alex said quietly. 

Kellin waved. "Hi. Nice to meet you."

Alex nodded. "You too."

A stewardess walked down the boarding ramp and started taking tickets and letting people on to the ship.

Alex thought about backing out, he didn't want to do this. He didn't want to be stuck on a boat with the potential of it playing out like Titanic, a movie he'd watched too many times.

"It's kind of intimidating, isn't it?" Kellin asked, nudging his arm.

Alex looked over at him and blinked.

"Wha-.. Oh.. Yeah." Alex nodded and handed the woman his ticket, then followed the others on.

He went to the room he was going to be sharing with Jack and started unpacking.

"This is nice. I'm excited.. We're going to have so much fun, Lex.. I promise." 

Alex sat down on the bed. "Jack, I don't like this already.."

"Why?"

"Because.. We're on a boat.. We're going to take off into the middle of the fucking ocean and I'm scared something will happen.. If it's not too late to get off, I will.." He said, putting a hand to his chest as his breath was catching slightly.

"Lex.. You're having a panicky thing."

Jack quickly moved over to the bed and sat beside him, taking his hand.

"Breathe.. It's all good.. We'll be absolutely fine. The odds of anything happening are so slim.. You have a higher chance of contracting Ebola."

Alex looked at him, blinking.

"It's going to be fine. I promise. Trust me?"

Alex nodded and then hugged him tightly. "Thanks."

Jack smiled softly and wrapped his arms around him.

He loved holding Alex like that. He loved sleeping beside him and playing with his hair. He loved to press his nose up against Alex's cheek to annoy him. He loved him and after 2 years, he still didn't have the guts to say it.

Jack assumed Alex didn't have the guts either because the younger boy never said anything either.

The truth was, Alex didn't feel quite the same way. Jack was a best friend, not like a brother..Because they were too touchy. But like.. A best friend that you could do anything and everything with and it wasn't awkward. There was never any weirdness or questioning. They had kissed before.. But it didn't mean anything serious to Alex.

It had been 8 months ago. Alex had fallen off his bike on the way home from school and ended up with a broken arm and stitches. He'd been in a lot of pain, so Jack was right beside him as soon as he could be. And he'd kissed him.

Now that they were sitting close together on the bed, Jack was tempted to kiss him again, but he didn't, because Alex was still a bit panicky and he didn't want to make any sudden moves.  
\----

"Alright, this is our room." Pete said, heading inside a large master suite.

There were two beds. One king and the other a full.

Kellin blinked. "I-.. I could have gotten my own room." He said, feeling awkward.

"And be by yourself? No way." Patrick blinked.

"But you guys-.. What if y-.."

"What if we want to have sex? We'll send you off to go hang out with the others.." Pete laughed.

Kellin blinked and knew his cheeks were probably turning red. He quietly went over to a dresser and unpacked, then looked out one of the small round windows as the boat started moving away from the docks. 

"Holy shit."

"What?" Pete asked, coming up behind him.

"We're moving already."

"Yep.. 4 days of ocean and then luxurious island beaches and tons of fruity drinks with little umbrellas."

"But not too many. I don't need you running around a foreign beach with no clothes on." 

"I'm not getting anything with alcohol." Pete said. "I told you, I don't drink anymore."

Patrick nodded. "I know.. I was only joking."

Kellin looked between both of them.

Alcohol was a touchy subject since Pete used to drink a bit too much. He'd never hurt anyone but he'd gotten a bit out of hand sometimes and had thrown a few things at the walls.

"I'm gonna' go explore." Kellin said.

"Okay. Just text me if you get lost." Patrick said, then handed him one of the spare room keys.

Kellin nodded and then headed out of the room and closed the door behind him.

He stared at the ugly swirl-patterned carpet as he walked down one of the long hallways. He wanted to get up to one of the decks and take some photos of LA before it disappeared completely.

After wandering for a half hour, he saw sky light up a few flights of stairs. When he emerged on the first deck, there was only a couple of people up there.

There was a middle-aged woman with a toddler. She was sitting on a deck chair with him and reading him a book.

There was also a young man with dark hair, talking to a young woman with long blonde, wavy hair.

Kellin observed them for a second, them went up to the railing and took out his phone. He took a few photos and then stepped back.

"Ow."

He turned around and came face to face with Alex.

"Sorry, Hi."

"My fault.." Alex said quietly. "Jack said I might feel better up here where there's air."

"Oh.. Do you get motion sickness?"

"No.. I had a panic attack." Alex told him, then sat on one of the deck chairs. "I've seen Titanic about a hundred times."

"Me too." Kellin said.

"You get panic attacks?"

"No.. I meant.. The titanic.. I've watched it so many times."

"Oh."

Kellin hesitated and then sat beside him.

"So.." He started, unsure of how to start up a conversation.

It wasn't that Kellin wasn't good at talking to people, but Alex happened to be different. Alex was.. Well, in Kellin's opinion, very attractive and it made him feel nervous. He knew this could go one of two ways. The first being that Alex would get into the conversation and they would end up having things in common.. But then there was the second way.. Which was him annoying Alex and there would be that awkward moment where Alex would get up and say he 'Had to go' and walk off before Kellin could say anything else stupid.

He stared at him, hoping it would go the first way. He felt his nerves settle a bit as Alex gave him a small smile.

"Can't think of anything to say? Because I can't." Alex admitted, seeing the other boy was struggling a bit.

"Uh.. Yeah.. Sorry.. I'm really good at having conversations.. Just not good at starting them." He said.

Maybe it was because Alex was attractive, or maybe it was because every time he tried to start a conversation with the only family he had, he ended up with a bruise or a scar.


	3. Just Forget The Damn Suggestion

".. So you know Jack?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah I know him. We're friends.. I only met him a few months ago though.. He always talks about you."

"He does?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, are you two dating? He never calls you his boyfriend.. But he talks about like.. How you two have movie nights and that your favorite kind of candy is sour patch kids.." Kellin told him, then trailed off, realizing he might not want to get ahead of himself if Alex was taken.

".. Oh-.. No, we aren't dating.." Alex said, feeling an odd array of butterflies in his stomach at the thought of Jack bragging about him and knowing so many little details about him.

"Oh.. So just really good friends? That's cool." 

"Yeah.." Alex nodded, then decided to quickly switch subjects before things got awkward.

"What happened to your forehead?" He asked, pointing to the bandage.

Kellin felt his heart quicken a bit as he thought about it. He just met Alex and he certainly wasn't about to tell him about the private details of his life. Especially not the part about his abusive father, or that he practically lived with Patrick and Pete.

"Fell off my skateboard." Kellin told him, then forced a small laugh to make it seem like it was supposed to be funny.

Alex bought it and joined him in the laugh. "I fell off my bike awhile back.. Got pretty hurt."

"Ah.. Shit.. Bikes.. Skateboards.. Dangerous things with wheels.. Thank God boats don't have wheels." He said.

Alex nodded. "True.. But bikes and skateboards don't drift off into the middle of the ocean with thousands of people on them." He breathed, then felt the nerves come back hard.   
His eyes caught sight of the ocean and the already way-too-far distance between them and Los Angeles.

"Fuck.." He breathed, looking away. He imagined himself falling off the boat and being left behind to just float in the middle of the ocean. He pictured drowning, sucking in a bunch of water and sinking all the way to the bottom. The more thoughts and possibilities he conjured up in his head, the more he felt his heart beat faster and faster until he felt light-headed.

Kellin watched him, feeling a bit concerned as the older boy's mood changed and how he got pale. He stood up and pointed back to the stairs. "Why don't we go back downstairs and find the Diner?"

"Okay.." Alex stood quickly and went with him to the stairs, trying to get back down to the hallways as fast as his shaking legs would get him there. 

He tried hard not to cry or have a complete panic attack. He didn't want to do that in front of someone he barely knew and he also knew there was no coming down from it without Jack. Jack was the only one who could soothe him and calm him down, besides his own mom.

When they got to the hall though, Alex sank to the floor, drawing in a ragged breath. He put his head on the knees of his jeans and his hands in his hair, trying not to black out. His heart was thudding so fast, he felt he couldn't catch his breath correctly to get it to slow down.

Kellin had no clue what to do. He'd never had a full on panic attack before, but definitely knew what it was like to be afraid of something.

He knelt beside him and hesitated, before placing a hand on his shoulder. 

"I-.. I don't know what to do.. Are you okay? Should I get Jack? Alex? We're good. We're inside now.. Just.. Take some deep breaths or.. Or at least try to breathe a little slower.. You're kind of freaking me out. Please tell me you don't have asthma.. What do I do?" He asked.

Alex listened to him and then looked up slowly and he just laughed a little, starting to calm down. "I'm sorry." He half laughed, half breathed. "I'm okay.. I-.. Wow.." He leaned his head back against the wall.

"What?"

"That was stupid.. I-.. I'm really sorry. I can't believe that just happened."

"It's not stupid.." Kellin said quickly, feeling bad for him. "Fear is completely understandable.. And.. I get that it's really bad for you.. You're not used to being on a boat.. And.. I can imagine how it feels."

"Really?"

"Yeah..Everyone's afraid of things.. Some more than others. I understand."

Alex blinked and then nodded slowly. 

They both sat there for a moment. He let Alex calm down fully and regain complete control over his breathing, before he stood and offered him his hand.

Alex took it and stood slowly, spots dancing in front of his vision for a moment. He blinked them away. "I need water.." He said. "Probably some food too."

The two of them set off in search of the diner, walking side by side, but with the right amount of distance to where it wasn't awkward.  
\----  
Patrick was laying on the king sized bed with Pete. He had a leg over Pete's hips and his head was snuggled up against the dark-haired boys shoulder.

"I've been thinking."

"About what?" Pete asked as he ran his fingers through Patrick's hair softly.

"Well.. We've been together for a long time.. At least a few years.. We have a house, we have a stable income.. So, I was wondering if you wanted to start trying for a baby?"

Pete blinked a few times, imagining their life with a baby. The way it would cry all night, constantly be needing a diaper change or a bottle. He thought of all the endless nights of not getting any sleep.

"No." He said, a little too quickly.

Patrick looked at him. "What?" He blinked and frowned, then sat up as well.

"You don't want to have children with me?"

"Uh.. I do.. But not now.. When I'm older. I-.. I'm not quite ready for kids yet. I'm not ready to be a parent and.. Yeah.. Maybe in a few more years."

".. I don't want to start trying for kids when I'm in my thirties, Pete. I don't want to be old when my kid is a middle-schooler.. I want to have kids now while I'm still young and I can actually do stuff with them."

Pete thought about the point Patrick was making. It was a great point in all honesty, but it still didn't make Pete want to have children anytime soon.

"I understand what you're saying and I do agree.. But I still don't want to have kids right now.. I'm sorry, Pat.."

"It's fine.." Patrick shrugged. "Maybe we can just get a dog or something? And practice that way?"

"Yeah.. I'd be down for getting a dog."

"We'll also have Kellin.. So we'll be able to practice having a teenager around."

"What?" 

"I told Kellin to move in.."

"Why?"

"You know why, Pete.. His dad hurts him.. A lot. It's not fair and I really worry about him."

"So do I.. But you should have talked to me about it first.. Don't you think?"

"I thought you would agree with it.. I didn't think there would be an issue."

"I like Kellin.. I like having him over.. But..I don't know how I feel about a teenager moving in with us."

"It's not like he drinks or does drugs.. He's just looking for a safe place to live."

"But.. Then it won't just be you and I anymore.. You wouldn't just invite Andy and Joe to live with us, would you? It's a privacy thing."

"That's different."

"Not really." Pete said, feeling a bit agitated.

"Okay.. Well. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it first.. I can tell him to find somewhere else to go."

"No. It's fine."

"Not if you're going to be all pissy about it."

"I'm not pissy about him living with us.. I'm pissy that you make decisions about things without considering how I might feel about them. It's not just your house.. It's mine too. I   
pay a fair share of the bills and the rent, so you should talk to me about those kinds of things."

Patrick blinked a few times, then let out a breath and nodded silently, afraid if he spoke that his voice might crack. He stood up slowly and grabbed the key card.

"Where are you going?" Pete sighed.

"I'm hungry." Patrick said quietly, the slightest waver in his voice. 

He quickly stepped out into the hallway and shut the door behind him.

He wasn't hungry, especially now. He wanted Joe. He wanted to talk to him. Joe was his comfort when something went wrong with him and Pete. Joe was one of those friends that let you vent out your whole rant before he said a single word. He never interrupted or tried to tell you how to do things. He was all ears and comfort with good advice.

He went to Joe's room and knocked on the door.


	4. Just Be A Damn Good Person

Joe opened the door and looked at Patrick, blinking when he realized his friend looked upset.

"Come in..What's the matter?" Joe asked as he let Patrick into the room and closed the door.

Patrick sat on the bed and crossed his legs, staring at the blankets. 

"I was talking to Pete..And I brought up the suggestion of trying for a baby."

Joe sat down as well and looked at him, waiting for him to finish what he was saying.

"And he turned it down.. He says he doesn't want a baby right now.. That he isn't ready.. And it sucks because I am ready.. And we're in a perfect situation as far as living in a nice house and having a steady income.. We literally would have no issues having a baby right now."

Joe frowned.

"I'm sorry.. That's gotta' be disappointing." He said softly.

Patrick nodded. "It is.. I really want a baby.. My number one goal in life is to be a dad."

"So is mine." Joe told him, then scooted closer and wrapped his arms around him. 

"Look at it this way.. You'll probably have a baby before I do. I haven't even been in a relationship like you have with Pete."

"You just have to find the right person." Patrick said, looking up at his eyes. "You'll know when you find the right one.."

Joe blinked and nodded a bit, silently wishing that he could kiss him. He wanted Patrick to know that he was the one that he wanted. He wanted to be with him a long time ago, but Pete was a huge flirter and won Patrick over before Joe even had a sliver of a chance.

"Yeah.. You're right." Joe mused, thinking about a life with someone to hold and love, someone to share a last name with, someone to buy a house with and have kids with. The only person he could conjure up in those imaginings was Patrick. 

"So.. Did you two end up arguing?" Joe asked.

"A little.. I was more hurt than anything, so.. I just walked out of the room."

"Probably a good idea before things got too heated."

"Yeah.." Patrick laid his head against Joe's shoulder and closed his eyes, sighing. 

\----  
Everything was great and Alex couldn't even believe it. He and Kellin had been in the diner for an hour and Alex had actually managed to start and engage in a great conversation with the darker haired boy.

They talked about food first, which was an easy topic seeing as they were currently surrounded by tables of people eating food that they had retrieved from the multiple rows of buffet-style stands.

They then talked about movies and TV and music after they finally went to get some food for themselves. Kellin was surprised when he didn't find any of the food to peak his interest. He was always up for free food or just any food in general. But now, all he felt like eating was the bowl of soup in front of him. He blamed it on nerves and little sleep the night before.

Alex had piled up a huge plate of different things. He had tacos and rice and some shrimp and a salad, yet he was still intrigued that there was plenty more to try later.

They had started talking about guitars and other instruments, when Kellin realized that the temperature had seemed to increase drastically over the last half hour. He unzipped his hoodie and stood up to take it off and tie it around his waist.

"You're hot? It's kinda' cold in here to me." Alex said.

"Yeah, it's hot to me.." Kellin said, feeling sweat beading at the back of his neck, under his hair.

He then tried to get back into the conversation about which guitar strings were better for an acoustic, when he finally felt the unmistakable twisting in his stomach that told him things were only going to get worse.

He couldn't push it aside anymore. He knew what was going on and he'd tried to put the thought out of his mind for the last hour. He figured if he kept thinking about it, he would feel worse, but there was no more denying it or trying to ignore it. He knew exactly what was wrong. He was feeling the first signs of motion sickness.

He kept trying to tell himself that he couldn't feel the boat moving. No one else seemed to be able to feel it. The boat was absolutely still if you looked around. No one had drinks or food sloshing around their tables.

But he could feel it. He could feel the way there was a subtle bobbing of the ship against the choppy waves of the ocean. It made his stomach turn in circles. It wasn't too bad at first, but after awhile, he couldn't focus on a single word Alex was saying. He zoned out, pulling slow breaths in through his nose and trying to blow them out through his mouth without being too noticable. 

Alex stopped talking and looked at him. "Are you okay?"

Kellin snapped back to reality and blinked. "Sorry.. I-.. Hey, I'm pretty tired.. Do you mind if I go get some sleep for a bit? I-.. I hope we can meet back up later and keep talking."

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. I'm in room 45 with Jack."

"Okay.. I'm in room 72 with Patrick and Pete." Kellin breathed, then gave him a wave and quickly turned and headed out of the diner.

He dragged himself back to the room and headed inside with the spare key card.

Pete looked up from his phone. "Hey you."

"Hey.." He closed the door and went over to Pete, laying down beside him on the bigger bed.

"You okay?"

"No.. I don-.. I really feel bad right now."

"Why?" Pete asked, putting his phone down.

"I think it's the boat.. Can you feel it?"

"No.. You can? Are you feeling nauseous?" Pete asked, making a face.

"Yeah.. Bad." 

"Oh.. Uh.. Well, try to nap or something."

Kellin looked at him silently.

Pete wasn't good with people who were sick or in pain. He wasn't a nurturing person to most people. He was to Patrick but that's only because he knew Patrick better than anyone and knew how to fix anything that went wrong with him.

Kellin closed his eyes, feeling like his insides were going to turn outwards if he moved anymore.

Pete watched him for a moment, then went back to his phone.

Kellin's eyes flew open a few moments later when he felt his stomach churn violently. He got off the bed and made his way into the small bathroom, quickly shutting the door before dropping to his knees in front of the toilet.

Pete felt like he should get up and go after him but felt too awkward to do so. He just quietly sat there, hoping he wouldn't have to help because he honestly just didn't know how.

Kellin gripped the sides of the toilet seat as chills ran through his body. He could feel sweat beading and sliding down the sides of his face. The waiting was worse than the actual act of throwing up and he wished it would just happen already.

"Fuck.." He breathed, squeezing his eyes shut as he felt the nausea taking over again. He gagged and coughed a few times, tears pricking at his eyes.

Patrick walked into the room and looked at Pete, who instantly pointed to the closed bathroom door.

"Pretty sure Kellin is throwing up in there..Boat's got him pretty sick."

Patrick blinked a few times. "What?"

He frowned and went over to the bathroom door and tapped on it.

"Kiddo?"

"Patrick.. Help.." Kellin called through the door.

Patrick quickly opened the door and walked in, re-closing it behind him so there was privacy.

"You poor thing.." Patrick breathed. He quickly knelt down beside him and rubbed his back in slow circles.

"I feel awful.."

"I know.. I'm sorry.. We'll find you some tablets to take or something. I'm sure they sell them in the little shop downstairs."

"God, I hope so.. I-.. Fuck." He shuddered as another strong wave of nausea washed over him. 

This time it was enough to send his stomach over the edge. He coughed and then everything came up and out, into the toilet.

Patrick moved his hair from his face quickly, keeping his other hand on his back.

"There you go.. Get it out.. Deep breaths, kiddo.."

"Oh my God.." He choked out, after throwing up again twice. Tears were rapidly falling down his face now and he tried to catch his breath.

"I know.. I know, shh.." Patrick tried to soothe him as he stood.

"Oh God, don't go.." Kellin reached out and grabbed Patrick's sleeve.

"I'm not, I promise.. One second." He said, then found a wash cloth. He ran it under the tap and then knelt back down and held it to the back of his neck.

Kellin stayed still for a few moments, then reached up to flush the toilet and wipe at his mouth with tissue. 

"Better?"

"Still dizzy.. Stomach still feels gross.. But.. I-.. I don't think I'm gonna' be sick anymore."

"Okay.." Patrick sat down all the way and leaned back against the wall, holding his arms out.

Kellin leaned back into his arms, closing his eyes. 

"Pete didn't come help?" Patrick asked quietly.

"No.."

"Didn't ask if you needed anything? Offer you water?"

"No.." Kellin breathed. "He told me to take a nap."

Patrick sighed but didn't say anything. He just ran his fingers through the younger boy's hair, trying to comfort him. He suddenly realized that maybe Pete wouldn't even be capable of being a good father


End file.
